Friday, June 6, 2008


I had to go to the bathroom, and suddenly the fragment "a prodigious shit" popped into my head. What a wonderful combination of words, but what would a prodigious shit be- what would be the experience of said shit? Is it's prodigiousness measured in size, volume, or some other criteria? Why the hell is something this foul entering my brain, the reasoning of absurd scatological word pairings?
"A prodigious shit"
It could also work as a fun description of a person. I should like at some point in my life to meet a scrapper who I could easily sum up as a "prodigious shit". Looking back, I'm sure that I've met a few.

Last night, Grant said that he was "fucking splendid". "What a cute adjective", I replied, "I haven't heard that in a while." "Yeah it's great", he said, "but I only like to use it with something profane- dirty it up a bit." "Good call. Splendid on its own would be a bit too twee." nI'm surprised I don't use the word more often- it's a very "me" adjective, if, in fact, an adjective can be a "me adjective".
Somehow this devolved into a chat about getting the word "splendid" tattooed on your forehead, but suffering massive burns on your face or having a dog chew off your nose, leaving "splendid" permanently snarking at your fleshy facial misfortune in a suspended state of unsettling sick corporeal humor.

On the train I watched an overweight middle school girl play fighting rather aggressively with several male classmates on their way home. Clearly this was a result of the failure of language, the impossibility of communication between these kids- a punch instead of a flirt. The boy will hold her hand only when he is restraining her surprisingly hard blows, a touch that otherwise would not happen.
I imagine two well dressed people sitting having a conversation in which what wants to be said is never said- a confession or a plea is whitewashed by tersely breezing through the mundane. Suddenly the pair start violently pummelling each other, and are somehow more satisfied for it, even though the proper words are not spoken.

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