That headline was totally uncalled for. Regardless, here's some special news...in VIDEO FORM!
That's right! Bosch on Public Transit is joining the 21st century youthquake and will soon be doing some video blogging. (It's also a nice excuse for a lack of motivation to write things)
I hope you managed to keep it in your pants...
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
CAUTION! PROBLEMATIC CUTOUTS!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Antiquing, CRUCIFIXLAND, The Good Moment (A Preview), Found Photos, and Finally Some Goddamn Music to Download!
Today I decided to battle against my Sunday afternoon hangover (not the worst hangovers, but certainly the ones that turn into a day of complete inactivity) and run out to get some coffee and browse through my neighborhood's best antique store, an overcluttered musty den full of many hidden gems.
I found a bunch of lovely old silk scarves, which I bought on an impulse (of course now I have no idea what to do with them- wearing them in public might be a little much...).
I might have kickstarted an early descent into old-queendom with this purchase... Please pray for me.
While browsing through the heaps of old photos they have there I found some snaps of what might be the scariest/most fascinating landmark ever- CRUCIFIXLAND!
Isn't that INSANE? I have no idea what this curious collection is all about or where it is. Have any of you heard about a giant garden of crucifixes existing anywhere? This place NEEDS to be featured in some sort of horror movie or somber sweeping road film. To be honest, I was sort of spooked by this place- even though it's a Jesus campground, that place screams "COME HERE AND YOU WILL BE CURSED!". Can you imagine the person who actually decided to put the thing together? There was a whole series of photos of this elderly couple at the site, and the images of them lurking around the area makes it seem even more ominous.
"BEWAAAAAARE!"
I'm praying somebody knows the story behind Crucifixland. In the meantime, I'll be doing some sleuthery to see if I can find out anything about the place...
I also bought a bunch of other old random photographs, which will become part of a project called The Good Moment I'll start documenting on here.
Here's a sneak preview...
I'll explain more about the project later in the week when phase one of THE GOOD MOMENT is complete (this sounds so exciting). Once it's up and kicking you'll actually be able to get involved and get special things delivered to your door if you'd like, which might be the coolest thing ever.
Anyway, I now leave you with a link to a very very very cool site called Square America. It's an online collection of found photographs, that features some pretty stunning candids. They group the pictures by categories and actual photo series- they're a fascinating glimpse into mid 20th century America and ripe for story building around the unknown faces that populate the images.
There are kids in crazy costumes.
There is a series of photos from a bi-sexual romper party.
I highly recommend that you check out the site.
And just to make your day that much more special, I've uploading a kitschy piece of musical candy for your lovely ears-
The Terry Baxter Orchestra - "Are You There (With Another Girl)?"
Cheers!
I found a bunch of lovely old silk scarves, which I bought on an impulse (of course now I have no idea what to do with them- wearing them in public might be a little much...).
I might have kickstarted an early descent into old-queendom with this purchase... Please pray for me.
While browsing through the heaps of old photos they have there I found some snaps of what might be the scariest/most fascinating landmark ever- CRUCIFIXLAND!
Isn't that INSANE? I have no idea what this curious collection is all about or where it is. Have any of you heard about a giant garden of crucifixes existing anywhere? This place NEEDS to be featured in some sort of horror movie or somber sweeping road film. To be honest, I was sort of spooked by this place- even though it's a Jesus campground, that place screams "COME HERE AND YOU WILL BE CURSED!". Can you imagine the person who actually decided to put the thing together? There was a whole series of photos of this elderly couple at the site, and the images of them lurking around the area makes it seem even more ominous.
"BEWAAAAAARE!"
I'm praying somebody knows the story behind Crucifixland. In the meantime, I'll be doing some sleuthery to see if I can find out anything about the place...
I also bought a bunch of other old random photographs, which will become part of a project called The Good Moment I'll start documenting on here.
Here's a sneak preview...
I'll explain more about the project later in the week when phase one of THE GOOD MOMENT is complete (this sounds so exciting). Once it's up and kicking you'll actually be able to get involved and get special things delivered to your door if you'd like, which might be the coolest thing ever.
Anyway, I now leave you with a link to a very very very cool site called Square America. It's an online collection of found photographs, that features some pretty stunning candids. They group the pictures by categories and actual photo series- they're a fascinating glimpse into mid 20th century America and ripe for story building around the unknown faces that populate the images.
There are kids in crazy costumes.
There is a series of photos from a bi-sexual romper party.
I highly recommend that you check out the site.
And just to make your day that much more special, I've uploading a kitschy piece of musical candy for your lovely ears-
The Terry Baxter Orchestra - "Are You There (With Another Girl)?"
Cheers!
Saturday, March 8, 2008
An Afternoon of Brunette Dimwittery and Far Too Easy Gossip
So I'm sure if you're as addicted to the online celebu-gossip blog phantasmagoria as I am (god, why hasn't there been a tragic movie made about this kind of addiction yet?), you've already stumbled across the latest tidbit about Amy Winehouse's vodka snorting. Honestly, after seeing videos of her smoking crack is this really newsworthy? Isn't Miss Amy indulging in some combination of mind altering substances and her nose a given by now? Yawn...
I must admit that I was more entertained by the eyewitness report of the incident, which makes the moment sound like a nonsense scene crafted by Lewis Carrol.
"Amy in Wonderland"
“She necked the top of the shot and lit the rest with a lighter,” adds the source. “Then she grabbed a straw and sucked what was left up her nose.”
She then knocked back cocktails before begging a pal to teach her the dangerous “duttywine” dance, which can cause serious neck injury and pain"
“Amy was on top form and begged a pal to teach her the dance where you spin your head around really fast while you wind into the ground. Amy was so into it at one point her beehive nearly fell off.”
Duttywine"? Excuse me- duttywine? What the hell is that? A dangerous dance? I didn't even know dangerous dances still existed in our secular society- was she conjuring up spirits with these violent movements? Why doesn't that bit sound more crazy than booze-nosing to anybody else? Ok, let's review- what is a more interesting headline-
AMY WINEHOUSE STICKS SOMETHING UP HER NOSE!
or
AMY WINEHOUSE LEARNS DEADLY DANCE, NEARLY LOSES "DO"!
The latter headline is far more titillating. Come on gossip journos- give me what I want, and let me learn about dangers beyond the bottle! I did some youtube research, and learned that this duttywining can actually REALLY FUCK YOUR SHIT UP! Let's have a gander, shall we?
FUCKING OUCH!
To be honest, we should know that if the drugs haven't killed Amy yet this duttywining most surely will!
I must admit that I was more entertained by the eyewitness report of the incident, which makes the moment sound like a nonsense scene crafted by Lewis Carrol.
"Amy in Wonderland"
“She necked the top of the shot and lit the rest with a lighter,” adds the source. “Then she grabbed a straw and sucked what was left up her nose.”She then knocked back cocktails before begging a pal to teach her the dangerous “duttywine” dance, which can cause serious neck injury and pain"
“Amy was on top form and begged a pal to teach her the dance where you spin your head around really fast while you wind into the ground. Amy was so into it at one point her beehive nearly fell off.”
Duttywine"? Excuse me- duttywine? What the hell is that? A dangerous dance? I didn't even know dangerous dances still existed in our secular society- was she conjuring up spirits with these violent movements? Why doesn't that bit sound more crazy than booze-nosing to anybody else? Ok, let's review- what is a more interesting headline-
AMY WINEHOUSE STICKS SOMETHING UP HER NOSE!
or
AMY WINEHOUSE LEARNS DEADLY DANCE, NEARLY LOSES "DO"!
The latter headline is far more titillating. Come on gossip journos- give me what I want, and let me learn about dangers beyond the bottle! I did some youtube research, and learned that this duttywining can actually REALLY FUCK YOUR SHIT UP! Let's have a gander, shall we?
FUCKING OUCH!
To be honest, we should know that if the drugs haven't killed Amy yet this duttywining most surely will!
Thursday, February 28, 2008
The March of Queer Obama-Zombies (An All Inclusive Heading)
Dear March,
Is it really you? Are you here already? I just don't know where the time goes- it's as if I spent the second half of February under a snowy blanket waiting for the sunny glow of your Spring teasing. Oh March! You seasonal pubescent rascal, you! With Easter (and Pulaski Day!) nestled in your warm heart amid the hope for nearing blooms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fondly,
Dennis
MARCH ACTIVITY BREAK!
Hey kids! Here's a superfun calendar you can print out and color! You also can fill out the dates for the merry month of March! Or you can leave the days blank and have March last forever and live in the nonsensical timeless reality that is lived out by alcoholics having a perpetual St. Patrick's day. Come to think of it, the kids in this picture look a little busted- so don't forget to color the gin blossoms on little Johnny and Janie's noses!
You know what else March is great for? Hillary Clinton! I admit that I'm a very big Clinton supporter, but I really have nothing against Mr. Obama- I'm fine with him being our prez too. As long as Mr. Zombie McCain isn't in the White House, I'll be a happy camper. What is incredibly distressing, however, is the attacks I've recieved from some very vocal Obama supporters.
"MY VOTERS WILL EAT YOU!"
After posting a video of Tina Fey's endorsement of Hillary on my facebook, a friend commented "Go-bama... take this bitch out yo!". Another friend of mine repeatedly tries to rub whatever he finds disdainful about Hillary in my face, as if I was supporting the leader of a fascist party. When my good friend Megan sent in this lovely piece to the lady blog Jezebel for them to link to, she was met with a less than pleased response from one of their editors, who was a staunch Obama supporter. With the results from Tuesday in, I'm starting to fear for my life, worrying that the Obamaites vitriol will spill out into a terrible backlash. Come to think of it, the operative word of the campaign being "change" accompanied the ardent blinding love of his supporters reminds me of a zombie-like scenario...Perhaps the change he speaks of will be the slow decomposition and hunger for human flesh his fans are developing as we speak...
Run! Run for your lives!
"Obamaaaaaaaaaaa!"
I believe that the picture above is taken from Bruce LaBruce's upcoming queer zombie epic Otto: Or Up With Dead People, which a movie you should be SUPER FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT! If you haven't caught the hype yet, I suggest you check out the trailer below- it'll make you want to grease your nasties with animal bits...
Well, "that's all folks"...
Stay posted for upcoming blatherings on multi-national fashion week madness and deep probing of ironic gay sex parties. It's sure to be a gas...
Is it really you? Are you here already? I just don't know where the time goes- it's as if I spent the second half of February under a snowy blanket waiting for the sunny glow of your Spring teasing. Oh March! You seasonal pubescent rascal, you! With Easter (and Pulaski Day!) nestled in your warm heart amid the hope for nearing blooms, what could possibly go wrong?
Fondly,
Dennis
MARCH ACTIVITY BREAK!
Hey kids! Here's a superfun calendar you can print out and color! You also can fill out the dates for the merry month of March! Or you can leave the days blank and have March last forever and live in the nonsensical timeless reality that is lived out by alcoholics having a perpetual St. Patrick's day. Come to think of it, the kids in this picture look a little busted- so don't forget to color the gin blossoms on little Johnny and Janie's noses!
You know what else March is great for? Hillary Clinton! I admit that I'm a very big Clinton supporter, but I really have nothing against Mr. Obama- I'm fine with him being our prez too. As long as Mr. Zombie McCain isn't in the White House, I'll be a happy camper. What is incredibly distressing, however, is the attacks I've recieved from some very vocal Obama supporters.
"MY VOTERS WILL EAT YOU!"
After posting a video of Tina Fey's endorsement of Hillary on my facebook, a friend commented "Go-bama... take this bitch out yo!". Another friend of mine repeatedly tries to rub whatever he finds disdainful about Hillary in my face, as if I was supporting the leader of a fascist party. When my good friend Megan sent in this lovely piece to the lady blog Jezebel for them to link to, she was met with a less than pleased response from one of their editors, who was a staunch Obama supporter. With the results from Tuesday in, I'm starting to fear for my life, worrying that the Obamaites vitriol will spill out into a terrible backlash. Come to think of it, the operative word of the campaign being "change" accompanied the ardent blinding love of his supporters reminds me of a zombie-like scenario...Perhaps the change he speaks of will be the slow decomposition and hunger for human flesh his fans are developing as we speak...
Run! Run for your lives!
"Obamaaaaaaaaaaa!"
I believe that the picture above is taken from Bruce LaBruce's upcoming queer zombie epic Otto: Or Up With Dead People, which a movie you should be SUPER FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT! If you haven't caught the hype yet, I suggest you check out the trailer below- it'll make you want to grease your nasties with animal bits...
Well, "that's all folks"...
Stay posted for upcoming blatherings on multi-national fashion week madness and deep probing of ironic gay sex parties. It's sure to be a gas...
Thursday, February 21, 2008
The "Yawnur" Wednesday...Written on a Thursday
Did anybody catch last night's chatterfest episode of Project Runway? It was yet another dull entry in the endless string of disappointing stinkers this season has served up so far.
Elisa, while discussing her odd habit of writing backwards, put it best- runway spelled backwards is "yawnur", thus pointing out the clever diss that has been staring the disenchanted yet addicted viewers in the face over the past few unmemorable months.
Even better, however, was the disturbingly couple-like body language between Rami and Chris.
"Watch that hand, Ramiiii!"
In other news...
Have you heard KCRW's Good Food podcast yet? They have the most delightful and informative spot at the beginning of each episode that goes over what's fresh and a must buy in LA's farmer's markets that week. Sadly, living in Chicago means I'm basically stuck with root vegetables, squash, and other hearty bores, but it's nice to learn that citrus fruits are still alive and kicking over in the West coast- today I found out that blood oranges are in their peak season right now and that their namesake not only comes from the color of their flesh, but the fact that they're in their prime around the time when we acknowledge Jesus' spilled blood during the crucifixion! Woah!
That last fun fact isn't that exciting, but hearing about distant prospering farmers markets as I try to catch my balance after slipping on some black ice on my walk to work makes my heart swell up with bittersweet jealousy- how nice it is to know that the blood oranges are fresh (and how badly do you want to punch your friends in Los Angeles...)!
HAPPY THURSDAY!
Oh!
Wasn't that Lunar eclipse boring? I only liked it when it was about mid-way through, and there was a light brown shading on the moon like somebody smeared poop on it. That part was super cool!
Yes, I am 10 years old...
Elisa, while discussing her odd habit of writing backwards, put it best- runway spelled backwards is "yawnur", thus pointing out the clever diss that has been staring the disenchanted yet addicted viewers in the face over the past few unmemorable months.
Even better, however, was the disturbingly couple-like body language between Rami and Chris.
"Watch that hand, Ramiiii!"
Excuse me, but when did Rami become a chub chaser? All throughout the show his arm was lovingly draped behind Chris, he would stare with a charmed look in his eye as Chris spoke to the judges. Occasionally they would hold onto the other's knee... The interchange spiraled out of control as the show went on, inciting a gut reaction from my friend and I that could only be matched by walking in on your parents mid-hump. I half expected them to look into the camera, smile, and say, "You're welcome to our cottage on Fire Island whenever you'd like to drop by. Just let us know ahead of time so we can bake some fresh muffins for your arrival!"
I cannot really place my finger on what was cringeworthy about this overly-genial body language (maybe it's because my friend and I were stoned...although I think that merely enhanced the reaction that would have come in sobriety). Did anybody else feel the same way? Perhaps the subtle suggestion that Rami might like a few rolls on his man (please study Chris' distressing arm flab Rorschach above), upset me deeply- coming to terms with the fact that Rami wasn't the Rami I've come to know and lust for. Each knee grab was a spoiled touch, a wasted hunky gesture- sort of like watching somebody take a dump on a priceless Faberge egg. Why!?!? Why?!?!?
In other news...
Have you heard KCRW's Good Food podcast yet? They have the most delightful and informative spot at the beginning of each episode that goes over what's fresh and a must buy in LA's farmer's markets that week. Sadly, living in Chicago means I'm basically stuck with root vegetables, squash, and other hearty bores, but it's nice to learn that citrus fruits are still alive and kicking over in the West coast- today I found out that blood oranges are in their peak season right now and that their namesake not only comes from the color of their flesh, but the fact that they're in their prime around the time when we acknowledge Jesus' spilled blood during the crucifixion! Woah!
That last fun fact isn't that exciting, but hearing about distant prospering farmers markets as I try to catch my balance after slipping on some black ice on my walk to work makes my heart swell up with bittersweet jealousy- how nice it is to know that the blood oranges are fresh (and how badly do you want to punch your friends in Los Angeles...)!
HAPPY THURSDAY!
Oh!
Wasn't that Lunar eclipse boring? I only liked it when it was about mid-way through, and there was a light brown shading on the moon like somebody smeared poop on it. That part was super cool!
Yes, I am 10 years old...
And a dreamboat!
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Pre-Valentines Day Joy Fest: Singles Regressing & Coked-Out-Fish-Ass Couple Edition
Hey kiddies! Ready for another blast from the past?
Let's take a tv time machine back to the 80's and warm our frosty winter hearts!
Here we goooooo!
Isn't that the most charming, heart warming sight you've ever seen? I daresay it's even more affecting than the sight of one of China's endangered pandas. Ladies and gents without real valentines, I suggest you watch this video over and over again tomorrow and avoid any trite V-day self pity. That terrible trend needs to fly out the window- it's practically begging big businessness to create its own holiday (national Ben and Jerry's ice cream social day? Kleenex and Blockbuster day? What else am I gonna do, might as well get a mopey oil change at Jiffy Lube Day?).
No, we will have none of that! We will watch big bird, and fill our hearts with a joy that can only be brought on by this video and perhaps Christ's love (if you're into that sort of thing).
And did I mention that it's a mini Chinese lesson (I hope you gathered that from your viewing...Wo Ai Ni, anybody?)? God, why did I go to college when I could have just continued to watch Sesame Street after I turned 6.
THAT realization if far more sad than coming to terms with the fact that there will be no prix fixe dinners, diamonds, or fucking going on tomorrow night.
Ah, student loans! We'll be together forever....
If you are going to be humping all night tomrrow (in the event that you have Butterfish from your romantic dinner shooting out your pooper), I suggest you do a few lines, throw on this little known disco gem, and boink your shitty coupled heads off!
Ah! A sweet toe tapping disco ode to a man who can really deliver. Turn on Nightfall's superb tune, and you're bound to have a steamy night that will transport you and your lover to a paradise not seen since the Paradise Garage.
I, however, must present a fair warning... If your man can't actually keep it up and deliver (make you feel "10 feet tall", eh?), this could descend into a teribble and uncomfortable end to the night...ESPECIALLY if you kicked it off by ordering that Butterfish...
Seriously, BEWARE OF THE BUTTERFISH!
All in all, I predict that singles will be the winners in the 2008 Valentine's Day Fight to the DEATH!
I mean, really...
VS 
Which one would you rather make sweet V-day love to, anyway?
(And, no, Fred Rodgers does not count, you pervert! Shame on you for thinking such thoughts.)
HAPPY VALENTINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Let's take a tv time machine back to the 80's and warm our frosty winter hearts!
Here we goooooo!
Isn't that the most charming, heart warming sight you've ever seen? I daresay it's even more affecting than the sight of one of China's endangered pandas. Ladies and gents without real valentines, I suggest you watch this video over and over again tomorrow and avoid any trite V-day self pity. That terrible trend needs to fly out the window- it's practically begging big businessness to create its own holiday (national Ben and Jerry's ice cream social day? Kleenex and Blockbuster day? What else am I gonna do, might as well get a mopey oil change at Jiffy Lube Day?).
No, we will have none of that! We will watch big bird, and fill our hearts with a joy that can only be brought on by this video and perhaps Christ's love (if you're into that sort of thing).
And did I mention that it's a mini Chinese lesson (I hope you gathered that from your viewing...Wo Ai Ni, anybody?)? God, why did I go to college when I could have just continued to watch Sesame Street after I turned 6.
THAT realization if far more sad than coming to terms with the fact that there will be no prix fixe dinners, diamonds, or fucking going on tomorrow night.
Ah, student loans! We'll be together forever....
If you are going to be humping all night tomrrow (in the event that you have Butterfish from your romantic dinner shooting out your pooper), I suggest you do a few lines, throw on this little known disco gem, and boink your shitty coupled heads off!
Ah! A sweet toe tapping disco ode to a man who can really deliver. Turn on Nightfall's superb tune, and you're bound to have a steamy night that will transport you and your lover to a paradise not seen since the Paradise Garage.
I, however, must present a fair warning... If your man can't actually keep it up and deliver (make you feel "10 feet tall", eh?), this could descend into a teribble and uncomfortable end to the night...ESPECIALLY if you kicked it off by ordering that Butterfish...
Seriously, BEWARE OF THE BUTTERFISH!
All in all, I predict that singles will be the winners in the 2008 Valentine's Day Fight to the DEATH!
I mean, really...
VS 
Which one would you rather make sweet V-day love to, anyway?
(And, no, Fred Rodgers does not count, you pervert! Shame on you for thinking such thoughts.)
HAPPY VALENTINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, February 4, 2008
The Monday Drivel
Ah Monday! If you had a yesterday like I did, you seem to be floating in a painful post-superbowl hangover, your esophagus burning from lingering acid reflux brought on by a buffalo wing overdose, your stomach puffy from the multiple six packs you guzzled down (all by yourself). Ain't it just a gosh darn jolly good day to be back at work?
Caravaggio's "Sick Baccas"
"GAAAAAH"
Yeah, that's what I thought....
By the way, have you ever noticed that Caravaggio has an odd fixation on decapitation? Let's take a brief tour of some of Mr. C's headless wonders, shall we?
Ah, the Baroque period's greatest beheading hits! Caravaggio, you gruesome schoolboy, you! Do you notice a trend here among the fallen? If I were a bearded man back in Caravggio's day and happened to bump into him, I would run for the hills. He did, after all, have a sword on his person most of the time (an itchy hilt hand led to many a problem in his life), sort of like if Damien Hirst wandered around with a taser in his pocket...that's quite scary a scary thought...
Apparently good ol' Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio would often act as a model for his paintings, like in that lovely bleeding Mr. Medusa up above. Some art critics claim that the Baccas painting was made during a time of depression and turmoil in his life- it's a good thing he didn't take a cue from Van Gogh and bring his severance fantasies to life...frankly, a headless painter isn't of much use to anyone...
Moving on (fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a stream of consciousness media adventure!)- do you remember this early 90's gem that I somehow got stuck in my head as I was going to work this morning?
Hey everybody! It's "Bad Bad Boys" by Midi, Maxi, & Efti!
Due to Sony BMG's evil hold on their material, I cannot embed the actual music video, which comes in two flavors (basically 90's and even more 90's)- I suggest you check those out to enhance the experience of listening to this forgotten wonder of a tune. Hearing Miss Eftie rap (or is it speaking on pain killers?) about positivity alongside beckoning calls for those bad bad boys (were they watching a lot of cops?) is impossible to resist! Certainly Marissa Tomei's 90's weepie classic and one of my shameful childhood FAVES, UNTAMED HEART, couldn't resist the song's charm. In one of the opening scenes of the movie, we see her bouncing around in the Detroit diner she in which she serves stellar (I can only guess) hash browns to "Bad Bad Boys". I suppose in this scene we're supposed to somehow pick up the fact that she makes bad choices in the man department- letting her hair down and swaying her hips to shit dancehall is 90's speak for SHE DATES GAMBLERS WHO GO FOR A WET LOOK (or something to that effect...)! Sadly, for some inexplicable reason, the world wide web doesn't have a video of this magical scene anywhere in its vast networks (at least on youtube or dailymotion). Amusingly enough, however, there are quite a free videos devoted to showing scenes of Tomei in various undergarments (purple bra, pantyhose, oil pastel?), a youtube trend that has left me quite vexed.
Ah well...if we can't have dancing, we might as well meet one of her charming sleazebuckets, who looks remarkably like 90s grunge pophunk Gavin Rosdale!
Bring on the bad decisions, Marissa!
Did you watch long enough to see Rosie Perez! Motherfucking Rosie Perez! That's your treat of the day (oh if only I had time to write a long love letter to It Could Happen To You in this post...and while I'm on that little tangent, what is up with this trend of Rosie Perez co-starring in down-on-their-luck-diner-waitress-finds-love movies from the 90s? Weird...).
Anyway, at the end of that clip you might have noticed a young Christian Slater staring tenderly and perhaps a bit creepily at Tomei's character. Do you think that he could be the man who can finally break her cycle of bad romances? Do you?
Well you thought right...
But there's one big problem about Mr. Weird Yet Endearing busboy...HE HAS A FUCKING BABOON HEART IN HIS CHEST! Yeah, the movie's working title (no shit) was The Baboon Heart. Now if that doesn't sound like the perfect date movie I don't know what does...
Regardless, the two are able to find love and go on that 90's romance movie staple: the-inspirational-sports-date-scored-by-a-tender-synthesized-piano!!!!!
Did you cry a little gen-X tear while watching that? I know you did...
Isn't it amazing how a terrible yet irresistible single from 1991 can take us on such an emotional nostalgic journey (or to Beavis and Butthead...)?
God, I just love Mondays!
Although Mondays don't hold a candle to quick peeks at Marissa Tomei's thong...
Caravaggio's "Sick Baccas"
"GAAAAAH"
Yeah, that's what I thought....
By the way, have you ever noticed that Caravaggio has an odd fixation on decapitation? Let's take a brief tour of some of Mr. C's headless wonders, shall we?
Ah, the Baroque period's greatest beheading hits! Caravaggio, you gruesome schoolboy, you! Do you notice a trend here among the fallen? If I were a bearded man back in Caravggio's day and happened to bump into him, I would run for the hills. He did, after all, have a sword on his person most of the time (an itchy hilt hand led to many a problem in his life), sort of like if Damien Hirst wandered around with a taser in his pocket...that's quite scary a scary thought...
Apparently good ol' Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio would often act as a model for his paintings, like in that lovely bleeding Mr. Medusa up above. Some art critics claim that the Baccas painting was made during a time of depression and turmoil in his life- it's a good thing he didn't take a cue from Van Gogh and bring his severance fantasies to life...frankly, a headless painter isn't of much use to anyone...
Moving on (fasten your seatbelts and prepare for a stream of consciousness media adventure!)- do you remember this early 90's gem that I somehow got stuck in my head as I was going to work this morning?
Hey everybody! It's "Bad Bad Boys" by Midi, Maxi, & Efti!
Due to Sony BMG's evil hold on their material, I cannot embed the actual music video, which comes in two flavors (basically 90's and even more 90's)- I suggest you check those out to enhance the experience of listening to this forgotten wonder of a tune. Hearing Miss Eftie rap (or is it speaking on pain killers?) about positivity alongside beckoning calls for those bad bad boys (were they watching a lot of cops?) is impossible to resist! Certainly Marissa Tomei's 90's weepie classic and one of my shameful childhood FAVES, UNTAMED HEART, couldn't resist the song's charm. In one of the opening scenes of the movie, we see her bouncing around in the Detroit diner she in which she serves stellar (I can only guess) hash browns to "Bad Bad Boys". I suppose in this scene we're supposed to somehow pick up the fact that she makes bad choices in the man department- letting her hair down and swaying her hips to shit dancehall is 90's speak for SHE DATES GAMBLERS WHO GO FOR A WET LOOK (or something to that effect...)! Sadly, for some inexplicable reason, the world wide web doesn't have a video of this magical scene anywhere in its vast networks (at least on youtube or dailymotion). Amusingly enough, however, there are quite a free videos devoted to showing scenes of Tomei in various undergarments (purple bra, pantyhose, oil pastel?), a youtube trend that has left me quite vexed.
Ah well...if we can't have dancing, we might as well meet one of her charming sleazebuckets, who looks remarkably like 90s grunge pophunk Gavin Rosdale!
Bring on the bad decisions, Marissa!
Did you watch long enough to see Rosie Perez! Motherfucking Rosie Perez! That's your treat of the day (oh if only I had time to write a long love letter to It Could Happen To You in this post...and while I'm on that little tangent, what is up with this trend of Rosie Perez co-starring in down-on-their-luck-diner-waitress-finds-love movies from the 90s? Weird...).
Anyway, at the end of that clip you might have noticed a young Christian Slater staring tenderly and perhaps a bit creepily at Tomei's character. Do you think that he could be the man who can finally break her cycle of bad romances? Do you?
Well you thought right...
But there's one big problem about Mr. Weird Yet Endearing busboy...HE HAS A FUCKING BABOON HEART IN HIS CHEST! Yeah, the movie's working title (no shit) was The Baboon Heart. Now if that doesn't sound like the perfect date movie I don't know what does...
Regardless, the two are able to find love and go on that 90's romance movie staple: the-inspirational-sports-date-scored-by-a-tender-synthesized-piano!!!!!
Did you cry a little gen-X tear while watching that? I know you did...
Isn't it amazing how a terrible yet irresistible single from 1991 can take us on such an emotional nostalgic journey (or to Beavis and Butthead...)?
God, I just love Mondays!
Although Mondays don't hold a candle to quick peeks at Marissa Tomei's thong...
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Sunday Rundown
Hey kids! It's Superbowl Sunday! Are you ready to shovel buffalo wings into your mouth and watch men bash into each other over and over and over and over and over...........?
Frankly, I'm not.
My disdain for football has nothing to do with the common perception that gays hate anything sports related- that, kiddies, is way too easy. In fact, if you can believe it, I spent many a summer at tennis camp, played gold regularly with my mother, was a badass at badminton, am always a sucker for televised tennis, and have a little bit of a rugby fetish (okay, that may be a bit of stereotyping....). Clearly, I'm not too prissy for sports (although that list features many a genteel outdoor activity), which should mean that football shouldn't get me griping. Wrong!
My problems with football are not the common ones that usually revolve around the meatheads playing and watching the sport- what truly irks me about the game is the fact that it's a long drawn out case of viewing blue balls. I don't know how so many people can be patient to watch a game that starts and stops every minute only to be interspersed with a shitload of camera time devoted to the stressed coaches, painted fans, and strutting players when there could be a FUCKING GAME GOING ON. And then there's the problem of the terrible half time shows, usually with some pretty dismal and embarrassing half time performances.
Why? Why does the American populace shy away from sports that don't leave them constantly hanging? Sure the hours long back and forth of soccer may get boring at times, but my balls can't handle the waiting.
Regardless, by some strange twist of fate I'm actually attending a Superbowl party this year that will be attended by the casts of various operas from the Chicago Lyric Opera. I'm scratching my head a little over that culture clash. Perhaps I can stir up some impromptu Rigoletto during half time.
Sigh...
Anyway, here's a roundup of some recent points of interest-
The latest issue of The Believer has an exquisite article about America's curious relationship with "bad neighborhoods". The author, Eula Biss, is a professor at my alma mater Northwestern University (a place with its own share of football problems). She focuses a good deal of the piece on her experience living in Rogers Park on Chicago's far North side. After coming out of Northwestern, where RP fears are almost pandemic (late night fears of leaving the Howard el stop are quite common), this was an especially interesting dissection of white mythologizing and fear mongering over space. Anybody tied to Chicago or NU (or anyone else for that matter) should find it quite interesting.
Read it online HERE.
I just made a Myspace music page (please groan now) to chronicle my musical progress for a song cycle that I've been working on for a little while now about a horrifying witch trial that took place in 16th century Germany. I'll probably be updating more about my findings an research on this blog in the future, but for now you can hear some of the unfinished pieces HERE.
And finally!
I highly recommend that you go out and purchase some Van Steenberge Atomium beer to make your Superbowl all the better. On this most American of days, do you really need a domestic? Atomium is complex (sweet one minute, heavy and dark the next, a wee but oily...oily?!?!), rich, and boozy, which will make you look like a fancy fool in front of all your football fancying friends.
Cheers!
Frankly, I'm not.
My disdain for football has nothing to do with the common perception that gays hate anything sports related- that, kiddies, is way too easy. In fact, if you can believe it, I spent many a summer at tennis camp, played gold regularly with my mother, was a badass at badminton, am always a sucker for televised tennis, and have a little bit of a rugby fetish (okay, that may be a bit of stereotyping....). Clearly, I'm not too prissy for sports (although that list features many a genteel outdoor activity), which should mean that football shouldn't get me griping. Wrong!
My problems with football are not the common ones that usually revolve around the meatheads playing and watching the sport- what truly irks me about the game is the fact that it's a long drawn out case of viewing blue balls. I don't know how so many people can be patient to watch a game that starts and stops every minute only to be interspersed with a shitload of camera time devoted to the stressed coaches, painted fans, and strutting players when there could be a FUCKING GAME GOING ON. And then there's the problem of the terrible half time shows, usually with some pretty dismal and embarrassing half time performances.
Why? Why does the American populace shy away from sports that don't leave them constantly hanging? Sure the hours long back and forth of soccer may get boring at times, but my balls can't handle the waiting.
Regardless, by some strange twist of fate I'm actually attending a Superbowl party this year that will be attended by the casts of various operas from the Chicago Lyric Opera. I'm scratching my head a little over that culture clash. Perhaps I can stir up some impromptu Rigoletto during half time.
Sigh...
Anyway, here's a roundup of some recent points of interest-
The latest issue of The Believer has an exquisite article about America's curious relationship with "bad neighborhoods". The author, Eula Biss, is a professor at my alma mater Northwestern University (a place with its own share of football problems). She focuses a good deal of the piece on her experience living in Rogers Park on Chicago's far North side. After coming out of Northwestern, where RP fears are almost pandemic (late night fears of leaving the Howard el stop are quite common), this was an especially interesting dissection of white mythologizing and fear mongering over space. Anybody tied to Chicago or NU (or anyone else for that matter) should find it quite interesting.Read it online HERE.
I just made a Myspace music page (please groan now) to chronicle my musical progress for a song cycle that I've been working on for a little while now about a horrifying witch trial that took place in 16th century Germany. I'll probably be updating more about my findings an research on this blog in the future, but for now you can hear some of the unfinished pieces HERE.
And finally!
I highly recommend that you go out and purchase some Van Steenberge Atomium beer to make your Superbowl all the better. On this most American of days, do you really need a domestic? Atomium is complex (sweet one minute, heavy and dark the next, a wee but oily...oily?!?!), rich, and boozy, which will make you look like a fancy fool in front of all your football fancying friends.
Cheers!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Music NOW(?)(!)(?)
Last night I attended the second music NOW concert, which is part of a contemporary series put on by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Much like the first concert in the fall, the evening was a splendid surprise. I never did get to post about the first concert, but I was quite surprised by the young audience as well as the prominence of young composers in the program (including one of my favorite wunderkinds of new music, Nico Muhly [go out and rent the recently released film Joshua now to witness his incredibly effective and exciting forays into film scoring...ooh oooh oooh!]). Anyway, expecting the Music NOW scene (oh god that name...) to be stuffy, stagnant, and (frankly) not very "now", I was pleasantly surprised by the programming and the patronage- young skinny-jeaned whippersnappers listening to chamber music...Quel suprise! Oh, and this was all followed by something of a high school for grown ups/so Chicago post concert reception fueled by free pizza and beer.
Yes, free beer...
FREE BEER!
"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benners
Take that beer free and mix it up with some lovely contemporary music and attractive young gentlemen in tight pants and you, Chicago Symphony, have achieved something close to godliness- or my idea of a damn fine 20 bucks spent on a Monday night.
Anyway...
After the brief hilarity Wallin's piece began. It was a prerecorded electronic score, which rhythmically cycled through pre-recorded snippets of Endreissen's voice, various sound effects (a closing door was the big feature), and a Norwegian writer reciting some prose that next to nobody in the audience probably understood. Sidsel was the only body on the stage moving from a rather comfy looking leather chair to a microphone when it was her time to sing. There was also a completely unecessary video piece that accompanied the music that was created for the work years after it was written. The music was comissioned by Norwegian radio as a part of a series of broadcast operas, and relied on Sidsel's live improvised vocalises over the prerecorded score to be the main storytelling element of the piece. The sounds Endreissen produced, however, were wordless dexterous cyclings of nonsense language that resembled a vocal track that had been reversed through a computer program. The vocal lines seemed to be in line with Meredith Monk's wordless vocal pieces, using pitch and rhythm to convey ideas and emotion in a very "pure" musical language. What was remarkable about Sidsel's performance, however, was that she hardly sang at all and managed to replicate the electronic modifications of her voice in the score live with an added narrative power. I was taken aback, because I am a huge fan of hers and was expecting something along the line of her work on albums, which is in the vein of a jazzy more experimental Joni Mitchell (it's not as big of a yawnfest as it sounds). After expecting the Sidsel I knew, at first the piece felt like a letdown, but her otherworldly production ability held me captive.
The derivitive video art did not...
It was a bit of a mini endurance exercise, but a welcome challenge nonetheless. Remember, when you attend a contemporary music concert you're listening with the ears of....
In the next installment of BOSCH ON PUBLIC TRANSIT I will further divulge the wonders of the spectacular and confounding concert. Alas, there is a new episode of Project Runway on and I'm a slave to televised fashion competitions....Aren't we all?
Yes, free beer...
FREE BEER!
And we all know everybody's favorite founding father, Mr. Benny Franklin once said...
Take that beer free and mix it up with some lovely contemporary music and attractive young gentlemen in tight pants and you, Chicago Symphony, have achieved something close to godliness- or my idea of a damn fine 20 bucks spent on a Monday night.
So, why shall we toast to the music NOW series beyond the gut growing freebies? The music! That's why you go to the damn concert anyway, after all. Like the first concert I left with some stellar pieces still bouncing around in my memory.
The program began with a collaboration between Norwegian composer Rolf Wallin and another Nordic treasure, vocalist Sidsel Endreissen. Before the music began a funny little interview between Wallin and Esa-Pekka Salonen (another composer/coducter on the program) took place. The moment was pure comedy as Salonen took over the conversation, not looking Wallin in the face and insisting that he use a microphone halway across the stage, because sharing one was a bit too akward. Physical comedy by way of composer fussiness is quite an odd way to kick off an evening of music, but it helped make the night feel a little less stuffy- almost a foreshadowing of the pizza... It's actually one thing that's so charming about the Music NOW concerts- the first performance was hosted by CSO composer in residence, Osvaldo Golijov, who came off like the wacky uncle of the evening spewing in a thick accent in an overlong dissection of Muhly's piece that went something like (in my fractured memory)...
Osvaldo: Zees piece ees like Matisse moving into zee body...like...eh....uh...a dancer in zee space...like Matisse to Picasso...a movement from one to eenother...you can see zee movement...like a zooooming een....ramble ramble ramble....
Nico: Hah hah hah...yes...uh....I'm a wunderkind.
Dennis: Yes you are Nico! You boy genius, you!
Osvaldo: Zees piece ees like Matisse moving into zee body...like...eh....uh...a dancer in zee space...like Matisse to Picasso...a movement from one to eenother...you can see zee movement...like a zooooming een....ramble ramble ramble....
Nico: Hah hah hah...yes...uh....I'm a wunderkind.
Anyway...
After the brief hilarity Wallin's piece began. It was a prerecorded electronic score, which rhythmically cycled through pre-recorded snippets of Endreissen's voice, various sound effects (a closing door was the big feature), and a Norwegian writer reciting some prose that next to nobody in the audience probably understood. Sidsel was the only body on the stage moving from a rather comfy looking leather chair to a microphone when it was her time to sing. There was also a completely unecessary video piece that accompanied the music that was created for the work years after it was written. The music was comissioned by Norwegian radio as a part of a series of broadcast operas, and relied on Sidsel's live improvised vocalises over the prerecorded score to be the main storytelling element of the piece. The sounds Endreissen produced, however, were wordless dexterous cyclings of nonsense language that resembled a vocal track that had been reversed through a computer program. The vocal lines seemed to be in line with Meredith Monk's wordless vocal pieces, using pitch and rhythm to convey ideas and emotion in a very "pure" musical language. What was remarkable about Sidsel's performance, however, was that she hardly sang at all and managed to replicate the electronic modifications of her voice in the score live with an added narrative power. I was taken aback, because I am a huge fan of hers and was expecting something along the line of her work on albums, which is in the vein of a jazzy more experimental Joni Mitchell (it's not as big of a yawnfest as it sounds). After expecting the Sidsel I knew, at first the piece felt like a letdown, but her otherworldly production ability held me captive.
The derivitive video art did not...
It was a bit of a mini endurance exercise, but a welcome challenge nonetheless. Remember, when you attend a contemporary music concert you're listening with the ears of....
In the next installment of BOSCH ON PUBLIC TRANSIT I will further divulge the wonders of the spectacular and confounding concert. Alas, there is a new episode of Project Runway on and I'm a slave to televised fashion competitions....Aren't we all?
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